The maths of me and playing football

I could have a go and creating some convoluted and clever formula to explain me and football but it can probably be summarised as:

• Me + 5'aside game = (Perceived) need to apologise.

After each game of 5' aside, including friendlies such as I played in last night, I feel the need to apologise to either my own team (for an error or series of errors or a 'complete howler') or to the opposition (for a foul or two). Basically, I am an 'effort player', I run round a lot with little in the way of finesse and/or vision. For example, last night I would my self in acres of space and time, with only the goalie to beat and found myself at a complete loss of what to do: the result I shot tamely straight at the goalie twice.

The final score in our game was 9-10: it was our 'B' vs 'A' so we did not feel too bad. I did miss a crucial challenge in the lead up to their winning goal. Re team performance, Captain Nick says we 'still chase the ball around too much' and he is undoubtedly right as he was to pick out Jess as 'best player'. Season starts next week.

Football maths I would like:

• I = Patrick Viera (in Arsenal days)